Rakshabandhan Special – Rakhi Wishes of a Sister with a ‘slightly’ financial bent of mind

Things I need from my brother:

-    He would safeguard my liquidity fiscal after fiscal.
-    He would term all credits to me as Junk Bonds.
-    He would be always ready to provide new capital inflow for all my shopping binges.
-    He would provide a AAA rating to all phone bills and other expenses.
-    His capital overlay for my regular movie tickets would be inflation and recession proof.
-    He would always strive to achieve higher Gross Domestic Opulence for his sister and be always ready to arrange for a credit default swaps when needed.
-    His expectations from his sister should be bracketed under limited liability and should be subject to fresh inflow of gifts, surprises and leveraged with generous doles of Chocolates.
-    Expensive gifts like the latest Mercedes SLK may help strengthen the bond and provide a return in terms of preferential allotment of love and affection, and less frequent short-selling of brother’s image in front of the parents.